Stimulating the Clitoris with Intercourse

Nature has indeed played a strange joke on us humans by designing a woman with her sexual "hot spot" outside the vagina. The location of the clit is nonessential to reproduction making it one of the only organs that has no other purpose than of pleasure. Perhaps there is a very good evolutionary reason for this obvious oversight, which we are not yet aware of. Nevertheless, most women are left with the reality of needing that extra clitoral stimulation during intercourse to be able to orgasm. By far the most common question we receive at Libida is how couples can put more focus on the clit during intercourse.

The Anatomy

• The clitoris sits outside and above the vagina where the lips come together. It is protected by a hood and is between ½" to 2" long -- with an average of 3/4" in length and 1/4" in diameter.
• Luckily, this is just the part we can see! The complete clitoris is actually approximately the size of a flaccid penis -- 4" in total. The part which you don't see extends down into two long legs (crura) that reach well into the inside of the body on either sides of the vulva.

• Because the clitoris is positioned inches outside of the vagina, it is almost impossible for the penis to stimulate it directly during intercourse.

• The clitoris does, in fact, get some clitoral stimulation from the act of intercourse. As the penis pulls out, it pulls the inner lips to the clitoris and rubs against it (pleasurable in itself). For some women, this can be enough to bring them to orgasm, but for over 60% of women it is not.

Positions that hit the spot best
Since every woman's anatomy and geography is slightly different, there is no panacea-position for hitting the spot. But, here are the common ones:

• Look Ma, No Hands: The best positions for stimulating the clitoris without using outside stimulation Scissors - Lie on your sides, face each other, put his leg (and thigh) in between yours - his upper thigh can put great pressure on the clitoris.
• Legs Closed - Close your legs as he enters you. Commonly from behind or when you are on top of him. Closed legs increase the friction of the penis against the vulva and clitoris.
• Missionary position - He lies on top of you - face to face. His pelvic bone massages the clit when he has fully penetrated you.
• Woman on Top - You can grind away on top of him to your own rhythm and ideal pressure.

• Doggy Style - His hand can reach around easily to the clit, Your hands can also reach easily down between your legs.
• Side by side - Lie facing the same direction as he spoons you, his hand can easily reach around.
• Half Facing - You lie on your back while he lies on his side. Put one leg (or both) over his body. You have easy access to your clit and he can caress your breasts and more.

Get creative:
Vulva Massage - Slip the penis out and, supporting it with the hand, slide the glans of the penis over the vulva and clitoris giving the clitoris a glorious penile massage.

Tired?
What to do when you get tired? Lie on your stomach with a stiff pillow positioned directly underneath your pelvis, and rub your clit over the pillow while he penetrates her from behind.

• Plain and simple -- just ask.
• Take his hand and guide it to your clit. This is the least confrontational, and is very successful if he is paying attention.
• Talk to him when you are not sexual with each other. Tell him you need that extra stimulation. Give him some suggestions on which way you like it. Talk creatively about how to get the stimulation you want. It can really turn him on to hear you tell him what you want.
• Rub it yourself and hope he gets the hint.
• Watch a porn movie together that features clit stimulation and tell him how much it would turn you on to have him do that to you.
• Scream : "Touch my clit right now!"

• Strap a vibrator on you. This is the best solution for many women. They get the vibration without work for either him or her.
  Try: MicroDolphin Strap-on Vibrator
  
• Slip a vibrator on him. This vibrator helps you to enjoy something together. Many men are thankful to you for that help and the vibration he gets too. The draw back is that when he withdraws, so does the vibration.
  Try: Bo Vibrating Cock Ring
  

Tips for Men

Remember that when she is excited, the clitoris will retreat behind the hood, which can make it a little hard to find.

The clitoris can become overly sensitive and will then welcome "indirect" stimulation. In that case, massage in circles around the area, look for her reactions, and ask her what she'd like you to do.

Note that if you want to know what it feels like for a woman to have her vagina stimulated without stimulating the clitoris, try having an orgasm without touching your penis.

And Keep in Mind

Analogous sex organs between the sexes:
Vagina = Scrotum.
Clitoris = Head of penis
Lips = Shaft of penis